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Name's CAre for short. Colours White, lavendar, Pink are my faves. Wants to slim down like last time as the picture above. And, i idolise 终极三国 and 下一站 幸福 show. Stay Cheerful Happy for all times.

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Going to Gym..
Written at Sunday, December 6, 2009 | back to top

Today is sunday.. a cloudy sunday afternoon.. I still struggling with myseif whether i should go gym or running near my house. Somehow i feel abit lazy . Coz i have to go alone and a walking distance to gym or running track. but i cant be lazy anymore . i have get myself on feet to exercise. I rememeber Ronald told me before, if i wan to exercise regularly, i have to love exericse first. But haiz.. what i have is lazy and what i don have is determination. I don wan to be back a Carol who always say want to slim down and yet do nothing. As Kenny undestand me very well. He say i cant do it because i am lazy and lack of determination.

AND ALSO I HAD BEEN PUTTING ON WEIGHT. NOW MY WEIGHT IS 64.5KG.OMG.


But i had been doing some thinking. Why i wan to slim down. Alot of reasons, and reasons..
I love shopping and buy clothes but because of my tummy and fatty arms, i cant buy the clothes as i like. I used to grab the shirts is like and go straight to the cashier abd pay money. But now i have to queue up at the changing room and try. I like to wear sleeves like tube, sleeveless dress and short pants and skirt. now i have to wear t-shirt and jeans to cover my fatty parts. I always wanting to wear bikini and Boots but beacuse of my fatty parts. i cant fulfil what i want.

And also beacause of my fats, i feel very sad of many things. I will list down all there to remind i should go exercising.

1)i never been smiling often and put on the black face.Coz i don have confidenc in myself and the most heachache problem is my fats. I can become slim i know i will have confidence and will be smiling and cheerful most of the time.

2)Yi Xiong and Yi bao have knew me for 6 years and i do not hang out with them so often. i know is not because they find me ugly or fat. they wont find me all this coz they are a nice person.is because i always don smile always keep quiet. They will always worry if i am boring going out with them. i become like that because i have no confidence right and i feel that i not fit to go out with them. Both of them are handsome to me. Really. somehow is my ZHI BEI is doing all this nonsense. Always tell myself wan to change. Slim. To let them c the different and new me but i also cant do that. Feel very ashamed to face them.

3)And also. Me and roger break up also most because i have no confidence in myself. I cant blame him. Even myself can tahan myself with such a low confidence. If to other guys, they will sure away too. perphap. I should do some research as the day we broke up and not now. maybe if i will changed as that point of time, maybe our relationship still got hope to save. but now is too late..

4)I promise to myself and many ppl once i never slim down or have condience in myself, i will never get into relationship. Coz no confidence, my relationship will never last long. Whether i will be old maid in the rest of my life, is in my hand now.

5)My work place uncle always say i am fat.. called me fat mei or Fei Niu. I don't feel angry with them because what they say is truth.Even my mother and aunt also say i getting fatter..

6)once i going shopping wirh jinping, she try many clothes and yet all like nice on her. And i tried too and none of them fit me or look nice on me. I very envy her.

7)And i quit amber because i want to focus on my morning job and also slim down. I don wan ppl say after i quit amber i become fatter.So i had been swearing to myself once i never slim down, i will not step into Amber agian.

8)i can understand for my work, i cannot wear skirt because i have to climb up and down the stairs to take goods. so i should wear jeans. but i don like. just wear a half pants and t-shirt to work. abd i know my dressing sense is SUCKS. i don wear long jeans because i am fat. backside and leg big, i don really like to wear jean
coz it is tight for me. and i always go to Ritchie's(my GM) brother(joesph)son restuarant. Joesph told me he ask his son if hire me $7 to work as waitress, want or nt. His son don wan. It hurtful and is ok. I know myself is because of my figure is FAT and my dress sense plus i don really like to smile.

Type and type..i discovered so many facts i should go exercise..

In this world, at least got Nisha, King Wei,Qing Rui, DOn and Jun Bin believe in me, i can do it.. I shouldnt disappointed them. Well now i should get ready to go to gym liao.. Will try to have determination. Thanks to my friend who always supporting me..